In 2022 this baby dancer graduated to become a toddler dancer. That is the moment when you realize that the tiny gurgling bundle of joy has an actual little person who is getting pretty good at figuring things out. In our chosen dance of American Tribal Fat Chance Belly Dance Style, the baby dancer presents most clearly in the lead position. Words to describe those first experiences in the lead are fear, confusion, lack of confidence, need for reassurance, and TOTAL loss of memory. "Did I just have an Alzheimer's attack??"
But I am here today to offer hope and encouragement! At some point we graduate to the next level, I call it the toddler dancer. We know stuff, we may not always get it right, but when we do, we are pretty proud of ourselves. I want to explore the when and why of how this happened to me.
The when: It happened this past summer when my in person classes were on break. Lacey Sanchez was offering a 3 month guided study on FCBDU called "All in the Family". It was phenomenal! She emailed every Monday with our homework, then we had an in person zoom chat once a month to evaluate. The homework consisted of 2-3 FCBDU classes, studies and writings about the history, music and costuming of FCBD, and usually we were asked to make a dance video each week inspired by our topic. We concentrated on the Pivot Bump family, but to learn the steps we needed to explore the FCBDU website and find them. Since there were many steps in the family I did not know yet, I had extra classes each week to take. It was so inspiring to view the videos of the other dancers in the class, who were from around the world! Since I was new to many of the moves, there were many mistakes in my videos, but I just put it out there along with my assessment of 3 good things, and 3 things that needed work, in my opinion. Self evaluation is nothing to be afraid of and it turned me into a toddler dancer. To overcome the memory loss during the lead I always included a list of the steps just outside the camera's view. Sometimes you can notice me studying it with a concentrated frown. (not cool, baby dancer). I started posting the list right underneath the camera. It accomplished a two in one~I was smiling (or frowning) at my audience, and avoiding my empty brain syndrome. And so, Sometime during that repeated process of learning and filming some confidence came, and also a blessed excitement to lead! When you solo for your audience, or the camera, it is on you, there is no place to hide in the back, catch your breath, and relax by following.
The why of this transition is more spiritual to me. The steps themselves became my friends. I could stop by and take them out for a good time. As my body learned all the components of each movement, I came to have a great respect and awe at how powerful they made me feel. Each step held its own grandeur and adoration of the divine feminine. During our exploration of the PULSE turn last Tuesday Katia asked us to stop and appreciate the pause and pose before the turn. This accentuation of certain poses during a step brings me to why I love it. There are so many examples, and I have pictures, of the elegant feminine sculptural quality. The dance makes it a moving sculpture of the grace and dignity of our femininity. In one of Carolena's classes she tell us, "if the choice is between beauty and common sense, beauty wins." That is why the movements are my friends. I want to honor them, respect them, share them and demonstrate them as often as I can.
Now, multiply those feelings by a studio or stage full of dancers who know how to weave, fade, circle, spin and smile, all while totally supporting each other, and you will find the magic we celebrate together.
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